


Sticks And Stones

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-22
Updated: 2006-02-22
Packaged: 2018-08-16 04:11:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8086660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: Fluffy. (05/09/2002)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).

  
Author's notes: This is response to the Fluffy challenge that Cinmbria posted. As usual unbeta'd. Sorry. I just knock this off quickly for Cinmbria. I do solemnly swear that the next story will be so beta'd you won't believe it. If I have a beta that is. Hint, hint.  


* * *

Commander Charles Tucker the third morosely surveyed his dinner plate. He had, in a fit of bored pique, moulded his hapless mashed potato into a remarkable facsimile of the Swiss Alps. He now studied the remains of his dinner for his next diversion. The minted peas never stood a chance. Tucker set about discovering whether peas mushed better if squished between the base of the fork or the prongs. He was so intent on his experiment that he never noticed the dark figure coming up from behind until it was too late. The hand on his shoulder startled him causing his fork to fly in the air, spraying tiny bits of green pea carcasses in its wake. The fork performed several back flips before landing, quivering ready for its next murderous spree, in Ensign Travis Mayweather's resequenced meatloaf.

"Shit, sorry Commander didn't mean to scare you. You looked like you could do with some company." Mayweather placed his tray carelessly on the table mindless of the lifeless vegetable remains that adorned it.

Trip just shrugged weakly "Thought I'd better grab something to eat before....well you know. Just don't have any appetite for some reason."

Travis nodded knowingly "Ah that's right, Malcolm's shuttlepod landed awhile ago didn't it. I'm surprised you're not with him now. Before anyone else sees him."

"He's in decon with T'Pol. Should be out soon according to the doc. Thought I'd go see him when he comes out. He should be all relaxed and more receptive. Hopefully." Trip returned his attention to his artwork. Picking up his equally callous soup spoon he began to pound craters in the starchy mountain range.

"So this would be your last meal then. I'd eat it if I were you commander. Might as well enjoy things while you still can." Travis hid his smile behind a forkful of meatloaf.

"Commander, Travis. Mind if I join you?" Hoshi had spotted them across the mess hall and had not wanted to miss out on any of the gossip. She sat down quickly before either could object. Just as quickly she stood brushing green flecks of her seat and backside. She sat down again and leaned across the table "So what were you guys talking about."

"I was advising the Commander to enjoy his last meal" Travis smirked. "Actually now would be probably be a good time to settle all your personal affairs too. Make sure your will is up-to-date, life insurance paid up. Whilst you still can."

"I'm sure that wouldn't be necessary Ensign. Lieutenant Reed is a reasonable man. I am sure he will understand."

"Oh I don't know Commander do you have some quite cool things" Hoshi chimed in. "You don't want them to go to someone who wouldn't appreciate them."

"Oh yeah" Travis piped up "Bags your comic book collection Commander. With your GI Joe comics and mine I'll have the complete set."

"Well then I want his Darth Vader action figure. My Han Solo has been feeling lonely ever since Luke's head fell off."

"If you two have quite finished fighting over my worldly possession I'm going to go face, I mean, talk to Malcolm.' Trip reluctantly got up from the table and placed his uneaten meal in the recycling chamber. With one last nostalgic survey of the mess hall he straightened his back and went off to meet his fate.

* * *

Sickbay seemed deserted when Trip arrived. He was at once grateful for his reprieve yet also anxious to find Malcolm and tell him the awful truth. He scanned the sickbay looking for any sign of life. Just when he was about to give up he heard a loud pop and whooshing noise coming from Dr Phlox's private laboratory. He approached the lab with some trepidation, unsure of what experiment the eccentric Denobulan was conducting. "Doc, you OK in there?"

"Quite all right Mr Tucker" The grinning face of the doctor appeared from around the door. "Come, come you can help with the last part."

Trip found himself being ushered into the chaotic environs of the lab. There were test tubes, beakers and glass wires going everywhere. "Um you look like you're quite busy in here doc."

The doctor smiled handing Trip some long-handled tongs with a large lump of purple crystal at the end of them "Flat out like an osmotic eel drinking" the doctor replied.

"Um excused me" Trip's eyes scanned the lab, trying to ascertain if any of the many test tubes were emitting a noxious gas.

"Crewman Freeman has been giving me lessons in some of the more colourful phrases of his home tongue. It means I'm very busy."

"I think you mean lizard. Flat out like a lizard drinking. I don't think osmotic eels are native to Australia."

"Lizard" the doctor repeated to himself "Hmm I think you may be right Commander." The doctor busied himself with his experiment forgetting about the Commander for a moment.

"Umm doc" Trip interrupted waving the tongs to get his attention.

"Oh sorry commander is there anything I can help you with?"

"Malcolm, I'm looking for Malcolm. When will he be out of the decontamination chamber?"

"Oh Lieutenant Reed has been out for at least an hour. Seems they didn't need to be in there as long as I thought."

Trip's heart sunk "Where is he Doc? I really need to see him. I have something to tell him."

Phlox looked at Tucker curiously "He and the Sub-Commander went to give their reports to the captain. Is something the matter Commander, can I be of assistance."

Tucker ignored the doctor's question. "The captain's on the bridge isn't". He never waited for a reply instead he dashed out, dropping the tongs as he left.

* * *

Malcolm Reed glanced up from his console for the twelfth time. And like all eleven times before he was met with strange looks and quickly turned faces. He glanced over to T'Pol who raised her eyebrow in acknowledgement of the peculiar goings on. Well, he thought to himself, at least I'm not bloody imagining it. What the hell is wrong with these people? A black thought suddenly struck him, maybe its what's wrong with me.

Malcolm's dark musings were cut short by the abrupt and graceless entrance of Commander Tucker. Trip burst out of the turbolift like there were five Klingons on his tail. He spied Reed immediately and raced over to his station. "Malcolm, oh my god Malcolm. Thank god. We need to talk now, right now before anything else. Oh god Malcolm I'm sorry."

Trip's ravings were interrupted by the steely voice of his commanding officer "Commander Tucker need I remind you that this is the bridge of a Starfleet vessel not the playground at your local high school."

Trip whirled around suddenly aware of his surroundings "I'm sorry Cap'n" he sputtered out "I guess I, um, kind of didn't think." He looked at Jonathan Archer with pleading eyes. "Permission to use your ready room and speak with Lieutenant Reed in private for a moment sir."

Captain Archer made a closer inspection of his best friend. Trip was wound up so tight he was visibly shaking. Archer had heard about Commander Tucker's problem and he knew the sooner it was address the better it would be for everyone on the ship. But Archer knew it wouldn't be pretty, no matter when the news was broken. He nodded his head at Tucker. "Fifteen minutes Commander and then I expect to have my two STARFLEET officers returned to me."

Trip bowed his head in silent thanks and led a puzzled Malcolm into the captain's ready room.

The two man stared at each awkwardly. Faced now with the reality of talking to Malcolm Trip was lost for words. "So" he started.

Malcolm raised his eyebrows. "So?" he repeated back to the commander.

"Well, um how were your dealings with the Fomillians then. Go well?"

Malcolm raised eyebrows even higher. He took a deep breath and decided to go along with the commander. He knew his lover well and was certain that eventually he would get to the bottom of all this. "Good actually. Very good indeed. I think they will be an excellent ally for Starfleet. Their weapons systems are something else. We've got a lot to learn from them. I mean there hand weapons alone can..."

Trip let his mind wander as he listened to Malcolm waffling on and on about the Fomillians weapons. An out of place word caught his ear and drew him out of his daydream. "Sorry Mal what did you just say"

Malcolm just shook his head. He should have known Trip wasn't really listening. "I said that the Fomillians have some strange ideas about what is sexually explicit. For example the male forehead and eyes are very taboo. I had to wear a bloody mask the ENTIRE time we were down there. I looked like bloody Zorro. It was the only time I was glad you weren't there. You would have been calling me kemosabe all the time."

"The Lone Ranger." Trip replied with a small smile.

"The Lone Ranger, what?"

Trip enlightened his lover. "Tonto was the Lone Ranger's partner. The Lone Ranger used to call Tonto kemosabe. I don't think Zorro had a partner."

"Well thank you for that Commander. But I don't think that is why you came bursting on to the bridge the way you did. I believe you had something to tell me."

Trip slumped a little. Now was the time. He sighed. He knew it would be better if it was he who told Malcolm but Trip also knew his words would be hurtful. He looked Malcolm in the eye and gave a sorrowful smile. "You better have a seat Mal, this won't be easy."

Malcolm was about to protest that he didn't need to take a seat, that he was perfectly fine standing thank you very much, when he saw the despair in Trip's eyes. He sat immediately.

"Mal" Trip began pacing searching the pictures decorating Captain Archer's ready room for inspiration. "Mal. What I've got to tell you its going to hurt you. And I sorry but you need to hear this and you need to hear it from me."

Malcolm felt a lump of lead begin to form in the pit of his stomach. His mouth was tinder dry. His hands sticky wet. He took in the commander appearance. Noticing for the first time the shadows under his eyes, the discernible weight loss. The shaggy appearance of both his clothes and hair. He licked his dry lips. "Trip, are you alright, you're not sick or anything?" Malcolm felt tears prickling his eyes. "You're not dying are you?"

Trip's head shot up in alarm "No, no it's not me Malcolm. I'm perfectly fine. I...you..." Trip stopped his eyes clouding over with misery.

Malcolm gasped. He remembered back to the back to the bridge and the strange looks everyone had given him. The whispering behind his back as he had walked the corridors of Enterprise. The way people had seemed to avoid him. Not looking him in the eye. "Oh my god it's me isn't. What is it Trip? Am 'I' dying or something." Another more horrible thought penetrated Malcolm's mind. "You're not leaving me are you?"

Trip was over to Malcolm in a second, dragging the reluctant lieutenant into his arms. "No, no its nothing like that Mal. Please I love you Mal. Don't ever forget that."

Malcolm pulled back a little from the hug. "Then what is it Trip. You're scaring me."

Trip stood again. "I'm going to tell you everything Mal. Just let me get it all out before you saying anything OK."

Reed nodded his head in acquiescence and steeled himself for the terrible news that Tucker had.

With a deep breath and a silent prayer Trip told his tale...

It had a been a hard day in engineering. Two plasma relays had deciding to go down at nearly the same time causing a series of problems that had kept the entire engineering team run off their feet. It was well past midnight before they had managed to get everything under control. Despite their exhaustion a little steam letting was in order so they had commandeered the mess hall and where knocking back a few cool beers. Their fatigue and the alcohol soon loosen a few tongues and lowered inhibitions. The topics so far had started with what would be some really cool things they could add to the Enterpriseâ€”strobe under lighting was popular, as was racing stripes on the sides of the shuttlepodsâ€”to the yuckiest things anyone had eaten. Lieutenant Baldwin won hands down with his tale of a Manolian funeral he attended. It was only two days after the funeral that he found out that it was traditional to eat the dearly departed.

The current topic was about the more senior crew and their on duty persona versus their off duty ones. The hottest area of debate was whether anyone could picture Captain Archer talking baby talk to Porthos. That was when fate intervened.

Crewman McCarthy, a normally shy and reserved engineer, her courage bolster by two small glasses of beer, decided to give her opinion of Lieutenant Malcolm Reed and, as she put it "the stick that's so permanently stuck up his arse, he probably cums at attention."

Silenced deafened the mess hall as every engineer suddenly found his or her shoes 'very' interesting. Every engineer expect one. The most important one. This engineer was both the chief engineer of Enterprise and the lover of the aforementioned Lieutenant Reed. Commander Tucker lurched to his feet spraying beer around his general vicinity. With an eloquence that had suddenly deserted him he defended his absent lover.

"I'll have you know that Malcolm is a wonderful and flexible and wonderful lover. He cums sitting down, standing up, lying on the bed. He even came once when he was flying a shuttlepod. So don't you call my Mally-Poo a, a, stick in the arse. He's not, he's lovely and sweet and cute and sometimes when he wakes up in the morning and he's been sleeping lots because he's tired. Sometimes he wakes up and he's all tired and grumpy but fluffy at the same time."

"FLUFFY! YOU CALLED ME FLUFFY."

Trip sank down on to the captain's desk. He nodded despondently. This was the moment he had been dreading. The truth was out but was he still loved.

Malcolm took a deep breath. "How long ago did this happen."

Trip answering quickly, thankful that there was no real shouting going onâ€”yet. "A couple a days after you left, three at the most."

"So commander for the last eight days you've been worry and stressing about what my reaction would be haven't you?" Malcolm asked evenly.

Trip nodded again. "Yeah. I know how much your reputation means to you. And for me to just blurt that out. I knew that would hurt you and I never wanted to hurt you Mal."

"Well then I suppose there is only one thing we can do then isn't there Commander."

Trip shrunk in on himself. Here it came. The revenge, the pain, the dead body. His.

"Well we better get back on duty. Captain Archer will be wondering what been keeping us." Malcolm stood and calmly brushed the wrinkles out of his uniform. "Well aren't you coming Trip."

Trip stood flabbergasted. "That's it. I call you fluffy in front of nearly the entire engineering team and all you want to do is go back to duty."

"What would you have me do Trip. Rant, rave, shoot your body out one of the torpedo launchers. As attractive as they all sound, they are not necessary." Malcolm held out his hand for Trip's.

"But why are you so calm Mal. I've been so worried this last week. I've hardly slept. I haven't been able to eat anything. And now you're all calm. Don't you want to break something, anything."

Malcolm just smiled sagely. "I think you've suffered enough over the past few days. Nothing I will do make you feel any worse than you did when you were imagining your fate. I'm sure you have learnt your lesson and won't say anything that stupid ever again."

They left the ready room hand in hand to the collective surprise of the entire bridge crew. Trip escorted Malcolm to his station, shaking his head in disbelief the entire time. He couldn't get over what a noble forgiving man Malcolm Reed was.

A moment before they separated to return to their duties Malcolm pulled Trip close to him and whisper sweetly in his ears. "A piece of advice Mr Tucker. You ever call me fluffy in public again then I'm going to chop off your balls with a blunt knife, coat them in Porthos' hair and hang above the view screen as fluffy dice. Love you honey."


End file.
